Rent a Wife if you Need One Nowadays

Wives have become extremely difficult to find these days. Who would have imagined before, in the days of rampant polygamy, at which time there still remained a surplus of eligible wives (wife material) to nominate from.

Who was a wife then?

Wives were made in heaven. This was a subservient lady properly bred by the mother solely for the husband, and whose whole world revolved around one individual – the husband – everything else, education, career progression, own hobbies and self actualization were not important. Every talk she had had with the mother had been a school in domestic affairs – how to keep your husband to yourself, how not to talk to your husband and his relatives, how to serve your husband, how not to behave when he’s at home, how to shelve personal ambitions that compete with and threaten him, how to decorate the bedroom, how to tolerate any afflictions caused by him (including all his extra-marital affairs as long as he comes back to you) and how to give him ALL he would wish to have to mention but a few.

A number of modern day occurrences – mainly, globalization, the fast pace of life, the independence & rise in the voices of women, the changing roles of partners in marriage, the availability (out there) of what used to be found only in marriage, erosion of religion, morals & ethical decay, and economic issues to mention but a few – have all changed the motivation to get married for both men and women.

Altered to a greater extent have been the reasons for getting married. A minimum of two religious groups, Mohammedans and Krishnans, have reasoned that the main motivation of marriage was compassion to the lady.

I have read about surrogate motherhood (professional womb for hire) before with keen interest. This is a scenario where a woman leases her womb to a couple, who are either busy making money to carry their own baby from an embryo to delivery or where the woman has an unstable uterus usually ending up with miscarriages somewhere on the way; or other single woman who has chosen her preferred sperm from a sperm bank (if not her own husband’s) and has had one of her eggs extracted and the two fused and medically placed into the rented womb for nine months.

To carry the client’s baby till successful delivery is the lady’s job description. Usually, the service is in the range of $5,000 to $6,000 dollars which (or approximately$556 and $666per month). This amount is an experienced Senior Graduate teacher’s salary in most of Africa, Asia and South America. Those in the business of Surrogate motherhood are poor helpless women who utilize their natural resource, the womb, to make ends meet. If we were to strategize to make money, it would take a woman to devote her whole life to surrogate motherhood, say rendering this service every nine months each punctuated with a break of three months repeatedly for 15 assignments and she would have made between $75000 and $90000. This is a career spanning 15 years only. So, say, she began this assignments at the age of 18, she would only be 33 by the time she has accomplished all these. Then she can retire comfortably and feed herself to her grave, a feat no one would achieve at the age of 33.

Twelve days before I started writing online, an online article by Julie Masis on the first day of this month, April 1, 2011, titled No wives for old men with a sub title Cambodia: No country for old men read in part,

“PHNOM PENH - Foreign men who are older than 50 and any foreign man who earns less than US$2,500 per month will no longer be allowed to marry Cambodian women, according to new marriage regulations introduced by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs…”

This news could easily have passed for another fools’ day prank (thanks to the date on which the article was posted) were I not to find other similar stuff elsewhere.

This could, in actual fact, be the fulfillment of Isaiah’s prophesy – only the fulfillment appears executed upside down, as Isaiah’s case did not involve many men to a woman! Yet, looked at another way, this prophecy is being fulfilled in this age. The Bible clarifies in part that all of us are equal in the eyes of God, there’s no gentile nor jewish, no man nor woman … Owing to this, I am right to think that seven women yearning for one man could as well be replaced with seven men pleading with one woman.

“Isaiah 4:1 - And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.”

Why would seven women plead with one man to become his wives?

The best answer at answers.yahoo.com 10 months ago was as follows

“He's a really an awesome guy with terrific hair.

From the Mikraos Gedolos, this is due to there being many widows left as a result of a massacre that took place in the reign of Achaz when Pekah ben Remaliah slew 120,000 men in one day (2 Chronicles 28:6). About this, Yirmiyahu states: "Their widows were to Me more than the sand of the seas." "Seven" was not meant to be an exact number but rather is commonly used in scripture to denote a large number.

Their predicament was that the soldiers had been commanded to refrain from having relations with married women, but of course, the widows were no longer married. Rather than be forced to have relations with the invading soldiers they wished to be married to any Jewish man available.”

In my follow up, I made a flashback to the very last day of February last year, February 28, 2010, when Weird Asia News treated us to not so familiar news in this macho world titled: No wives for 24 million Chinese men. We had learnt then that as many as 24 million eligible bachelors in China may never be able to marry because of a lack of women in the country.

New statistics, then, from the State-backed Chinese Academy of Social Sciences showed that there had been no let up in China’s 20-year-old gender imbalance.

Authorities had said the normal male-female ratio was between 103-107 males for every 100 females. But the latest figures, then, had showed that in 2005, there had been 119 boys for every 100 girls in China. The study had indicated that in some areas the ratio had been as high as 130-100.

The study had pointed to sex-specific abortions as a major factor in the skewed population of 1.3 billion, where a cultural preference for male children persists.

While noting that there were complex factors involved, the study had said that “sex-specific abortions remained extremely commonplace, especially in rural areas”.

If you ask me, the Chinese problem of women scarcity is manmade. It’s a consequence of a government policy that requires one household to have just one child. Chinese statutes provide for a penalty or equivalent jail term a couple is meant to serve in case they give birth to more than one child. This combined with the Chinese’s cultural preference for male children coupled with the availability of modern scanning equipment that reveals the sex of the child beforehand; it follows that if a family is only permitted one child, then the child will be male.

This is what could happen if human beings attempt to interfere with God’s natural plan of things should function in life. Everyone, who believes in God, knows that He (God) must have provided enough women for human needs of all the men he created. The scarcity of women in China is therefore artificial, maybe it’s a wake up call for their government to review its policy.

In many countries today, it’s a case of “water, water everywhere, but no water to drink”:

For wife seekers in many parts of the world, even where there seem to be plenty of candidates to choose from, there doesn’t seem to be the right ones for the role of wife. Hence the question that begs to be answered is:

Of those available ones, are they “WIFE” material?

I know every marriage age lady looking to be married reading this is smacking her lips & nodding her head just wondering if I am going to offer any prescriptive dosage here

The urban dictionary, I am told, defines a wifey as not the only, but the favorite… And a wife as the woman you marry and live with for the rest of your life. Dictionary.com defines a wife as someone who is joined in marriage to a man; wifey is nowhere to be found…

A wifey may be #1 (lol) and she may get the keys to the crib and to the car. Yes, she may even get a ring, but more than likely a wifey will never ever share his last name.

So again I ask, when is one said to have what it takes to be the MRS?

#1 How Does one Carry Herself In Public?

To most men appearances are EVERYTHING!!!! Yes, even for broke “dudes”. I’m not speaking of how one looks (even basic chicks keep their hair and nails nicely), no I’m speaking of ones behavior… For instance when one goes out, is she likely to be found chatting it up with fellow girls doing a sexy little two step? Or is one the “chick” that spends her Fridays and Saturday’s in the middle of the dance floor “pus-popping” for all the world to see??? Additionally, a few cocktails are cool, but falling down drunk is not cute… Hey it happens to the best of them (Beyonce), but a weekly ritual is a no-no. Lastly, it goes without saying that most men want a woman that everybody hadn’t had… And sure bad girls win sometimes, but it’s best to err on the side of caution…

#2 How Does One Treat His Boys (Friends)?

In general, ones man wants one to be cool with his boys… But if ones man has a friend or two that work ones nerves, one must still make an effort to get along.  One doesn’t have to be best friends, but you both love your man; so therefore you must coexist..

#3 How Does One Treat The Females In His Life?

Is one cool, cordial or condescending? Does one perceive them as a threat? Is one constantly questioning the authenticity of his relationship with say Rachel, who he’s known since grade school and served as best man at her wedding?? One is a woman, and if one is normal one has male friends. So chances are without him even telling you; you’ll easily be able to distinguish between true friends and former lovers… Remember the women in your man’s life will either be your biggest allies, or your fiercest foes. Choose wisely.

#4 How Does One Treat Ones own Family?

One’s man will pay attention to how one treats the important people in her life, it tells him how she will treat him and those that he holds dear. All families have issues, but if one is constantly talking ill of her mother, chances are she will never even get the chance to meet his.

#5 How Does One Treat Ones own Money?

For whatever reason, she could very well have blemished credit… But is she trying to repair it? Good credit is tantamount to financial security.  Does she save, or does the local mall get all of her spare change? Does her portfolio consist of stocks and bonds; or shoes and bags??? Trust me when I say, if one can’t handle her own money she will never get the chance to handle his.

#6 How Does one Treat HIM?

Women can hoot & holler all they want, but let’s face it men and women are not completely equal. Yes ma’am I said it. God created us to be the HELP mate! One must treat ones man like he is ones KING, if she wants to be his wife.  Even if one makes more than he does, she must let the man be a man! It is her job to make sure that her man has clean clothes, a clean house, good food, and even be available for him. If one isn’t a domestic goddess, she should hire someone, there is no reason why a man that has a “woman” should have to depend on his mom for a decent meal and clean drawls. Even if the mother is lonely, with 50 cats and loves taking care of ones baby, go help her out occasionally. Create trust & believe so that when he tells the mother he’s thinking about proposing, her response will not be “she can’t take care of you my son” and nine out of ten times, he will listen.. (a good woman, even if she can cook  nothing else knows how to cook her man’s favorite foods).

One should always want what’s best for her man, always encourage him to do and be better. If he doubts himself at work, encourage him. Suggest courses or books for self improvement. In addition, one MUST call him on his bullshit. If one lets him hurt and disrespect her with no consequences; he will grow up crooked. It’s that simple, a man wants a wife that demands, and only accepts the best.

#7 God, Children, and Drugs…

Before one can be a wife, she has to be his girlfriend. So, one should never, ever enter into a relationship with someone that does not share ones views on these three things. Sure there is a possibility that their views could change, but usually not. If you are a Christian, you can never have a successful relationship with someone, who does not believe in God (I said God, church is another story). A man, who does not want children, will, usually, not be okay with you miraculously getting pregnant. The drug thing should be self explanatory. But in case it’s not crystal clear, if a person has a problem staying sober, monogamy is usually not one of their strong suits either.

Potential wives among the abundant number out there, this is for you, because you have to be right before you can attract the right guy. And please as a supplement to these tips, find time to talk to successful wives in order to know the difference between a man and a mouse …

Following the foregoing, I learnt that those of us who are privileged to have wives can only feel lucky in these days of wife scarcity. Wife scarcity is a phenomenon caused by a variety of unrelated reasons for different regions on the globe – so there exist scarcity amongst plenty and scarcity amongst scarce. While I treat anyone who would want to become polygamous (without considering whether his brother has got his fair share, one wife) as mean and greedy, I am starting to appreciate the plain reality that there are no more wives available to marry these days. But, there were days, my old man tells me, when there was an abundance of them to the extent that a potential husband needed to be approached with not just anything, but a serious incentive to accept to marry.

Moreover, in the “outdated” days of Christian forefathers, people did not live this way. Ever heard of this set of Christian books constituting The Old Testament, two of which are 2 Samuel and 1 Kings?

Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, and others all had multiple wives. In 2 Samuel 12:8, God, speaking through the prophet Nathan, said that if David’s wives and concubines were not enough, He would have given David even more. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (essentially wives of a lower status), according to 1 Kings 11:3.

From various citations in the Bible, Christians marry for love or so it seems. And as if they had foreseen the future with a rampant scarcity of marriageable women, Christians adopted monogamy as their sole standard. Hence, the modern day Christian is monogamous. Any deviation from this is viewed as driven by lust.

Seen from Muslim eyes, an article at muslimhope.com titled Why Did Mohammed Get So Many Wives:

“Our Muslim brothers will tell you a Muslim man can have up to four wives at a time, based on Sura 4:3. Strictly speaking, that is being economical with the truth, as a Muslim can also have unlimited concubines and can “be” with "women their right hands possess". (Sura 23:5-6; 33:50,52; 4:24; Sura 70:29-30). Regardless, though, Mohammed recited a verse in the Qur’an (Sura 33:50) that made an exception for one individual: himself…

 … a Muslim told … that every marriage was for humanitarian or alliance purposes. ‘Aisha and some wives were daughters of powerful chiefs Mohammed needed the support of. Others such as widows, were "taken care of" by Mohammed after their previous husbands died. …asked, incredulously, was the Muslim really taught that every marriage was for those reasons? When he said "yes", then I said, "what about Safiyah and Zainab bint Jahsh? Since he was not aware of those, other Muslims (as well as non-Muslims) might not be either. As to the accuracy of the sources of my information, it all comes from either the Qur’an itself or authoritative hadiths of Sunni Islam.”

Muslims, it seems, marry for compassion rather than companionship – a man is out to fend for a minimum of four poor ladies as his religious obligation. Muslims don’t seem to have anticipated a scarcity and have maintained polygamy as a practice. In most of the cases where they practice monogamy, it’s mostly because of a non-enabling economy (as polygamy is a comparatively expensive venture).

Through a Hindu’s eyes, IndiaDivine.org  speaks of the number of wives their Lord Krishna had (or has?):

“Krishna had 16,108 wives. Rukmini was his first wife. Then he married Satyabhama and Jamvanti. In total, he had 8 main wives. The 16,100 wives he married afterwards were girls he rescued from Jarasantha who desired him as their husband…

… Therefore, all those women that he married were simply having their love for him reciprocated in the manner they chose…

…he was able to satisfy each and every one of them. None of his wives ever felt neglected or unloved. He gave each wife 10 sons and 1 daughter.

… There is the story where Narad wondered about how the Lord (Krishna) was able to satisfy each one of his wives. It seemed impossible for even if he spent one day with each of them in turn, it would be years and years before he got back round to the first wife. So Narad visited Krishna in Dwarka. First he went to Rukmini's house and saw the Lord there, just rising from his sleep. Narad thought that if Krishna was in Rukmini's palace, how were all his other wives feeling? So he then went to Satyabhama's house and saw Krishna there, getting ready for his morning meditation. Narad wondered how Krishna had arrived there so fast so he then went to Jamvanti's house and saw Krishna there, about to go for a bath. Narad went to the next wife and saw Krishna performing pooja. Narad went to the next and saw Krishna eating breakfast. Narad went to the next house and saw Krishna giving charity to the Brahmanas. Narad went to the next house and saw Krishna playing with his children. Narad went to the next house and saw Krishna meeting with ministers. In each house, each wife was with Krishna and Krishna was making them happy… 

…The Supreme Lord can make everyone happy because he is the only one with the power to love everyone in the way they want to be loved. Others may tell us that they love us but we never really believe them. But Krishna, who we cannot see with our material eyes, loves us and we know it, even if he never tells us. …”

I am not sure that I know whether there’s any limit as to the number of wives a Hindu should have, but what I am sure of is that they (Hindus) marry because of love.

Now that the bitter truth of today – scarcity of wives caused by this or that – has been unmasked, two most practicable remedies to this newly emerging trend are to resort to either importing or renting wives. While I initially thought that importing wives to regions of need would do as other regions in the world boast of a surplus, I changed my mind when I discovered that some societies are closed to foreigners and occasionally, though the husband will appreciate the wife, the husband’s community will act cruel or even sideline her in their affairs; I discovered that this would be a call to action – a wakeup call of sorts – for a really progressive entrepreneurship to offer wives for hire on varying leaseholds.

If the leaseholds are made legal with provisions of a legal exit strategy when such leaseholds expire, and if society and religions fall head over heels to be flexible enough to recognize such arrangements to the extent of freeing the woman whose leasehold has expired freedom to either renew it or seek another renter, things wouldn’t be the same again. So, it seems, when this system is eventually adopted, wives would be traded in at times like one would do for used vehicles in order to acquire a fairly new one. Then the possibility of a good-natured man giving out one of his wives as a hand-me-down to his poor brother who can’t afford the rates might just as well be normal.

When I reminisce my father’s youthful days; those were days when one could burden one's wife so much (that's if one was lazy enough to have got just one) and still get away with it. The workload for a wife included every household chore imaginable alongside whatever additional she had to offer her husband as a marital obligation. It was unheard of that someone would remain a bachelor in those days of plentitudes. No wonder, I am told those who lived those days had devised highly elaborate punishments to be meted on an unsuccessful bachelor. It was not surprising that in death, a bachelor’s body would be treated embarrassingly in the public glare to serve as warning or as a deterrent to those still alive and who might dare live and die bachelors. As such, no one, alive, would be allowed to name an offspring after such an unsuccessful individual lest the bad spirits followed the newborn. Everyone was expected to witness how despised a bachelors body had not received last respects so as to expect such treatment when one’s time came.

If my late grandfather woke up from sleep today, he would be shocked to see these rising numbers of over age bachelors whose problem is lack of potential wives to choose from. For these ones, it’s not their wish to be as they are.

Another group of bachelors (against their own wishes) consists of those who have not found something to do to enable them to marry as they are unable to generate some income to handle modern-day bills. As we have seen elsewhere in this document, governments of this world have started formulating policies that sometimes forbid marrying without a source of income. The girls have also been taught to seek men who can pay their bills and those of their parents’ families too.

Then, he would be disgusted with these rising numbers of modern day old-enough-to-marry young men with well-paying jobs, who have elected to avoid marrying because they would wish to avoid a host of responsibilities that accompany acquiring a wife. For such men, being despised in death (as it used to be) and not being named after evokes no fear. In fact, all these young men wish to do is live, eat, drink and enjoy to their fullest, then go – what happens afterwards isn’t a vocabulary in their dictionary. For this group, whenever one breaks up with them to marry or worse still, get married, all they do is mourn for this lost former colleague. “Another Good Man Goes to Waste,” they murmur amongst themselves.

My late ancestor would be perplexed to learn that these days there is a group of independent working class old enough women, who have chosen to lead single lives because there’s nothing else they can get from marriage. If it’s money for bills and rent, they have it; If they want children, they could just visit a sperm bank facility from which they can sample the best, and let a medical doctor plant the “seeds” in the right place to grow a baby of all the right attributes.

As if that’s not enough, he will have to contend with this emerging trend of young ladies marrying fellow young women as their wives and young men eloping with fellow men as their wives – a classic case of a cart pulling a donkey and not as it should be.

A number of people would please my ancestors to an extent thanks to the fact that they are married. The worst my beloved progenitor would expect is to be made to understand even these seemingly responsible ones frequently engage in some unethical socialization activities for fun such as wife swapping! My projenitor would go back to his eternal peace immediately with a sullen heart.   

All that I have highlighted is the death of the institution of a wife, a chaste wife. Now that admittedly, those who are expected to have wives do not, the household duties that used to be handled by her have been left with no one responsible.

Life in these days is too fast and too expensive. The man as well as the woman of the house both go to work and have limited time at home. Most people, in modern days, are starting to rely on washing machines to an extent that they can’t envisage life without them. Households in developed nations have them and where households don’t, an entrepreneur in the neighbourhood must have washing services.

One of these modern day brutes posed a question: “How was life like before the washing machine was invented”

Definitely, washing would be done by the wife who stayed 95% in the house (allocate 5% to fetching items like water, firewood and commodities out there). The housewife as she came to be known was a pillar of the family.

Where there was no wife for one reason or another, one would hire the services of a washer, say, once a week at an agreeable fee. The washing would be done by hand, normally ending up corroding the wife's (or washer's) hands, especially from the effects of the chemical detergent used, notwithstanding the possibility of disease where the washer had a big bulk of garments and so stayed for too long with hands soaked in water, usually cold.

I know that this still happens in less developed countries in Africa, South America and Asia. Sometimes the need to have someone handle these house chores of which washing is the most exhausting, husbands (and men in general) came up with retrogressive policies that would not let their wives (or women) find jobs out there, so that a steady supply of hand washers is guaranteed.

This is what has led to this occupation called housewifery. Thank goodness, the statutes in most of these countries recognize Housewifery as a full-time occupation though they do not have a way of compelling the "Boss" to remunerate her.

Much revealing are the stipulations of statutes in some of these countries in a scenario where a couple wishes to part ways or divorce. The Laws recognize that in all the material achievements of the household (or husband as others would wish to think), the housewife has played a leading or significant role as she handled the bulk of the household chores that have consistently run from 4 a.m or 5 a.m., before family members get up, throughout the day and end up somewhere around midnight, when everyone else (including the husband) is fast asleep.

In recognition of this creditworthiness, such statutes have decreed that the material achievements of a disintegrating household be subdivided equitably (would have wished equally?) between the partners (couple).

And as if to reinforce the challenges of the past rudimentary hand washing, machine washing is still a time-consuming if not as labor-intensive an activity as it used to be.

The modern day solution to this problem is RENTING A WIFE

A number of companies offer "wives" for rent; Rent A Wife Ottawa has been doing it since 1987. "We provide full services in cleaning, organizing, party services and minor household repairs. 'Because every working person deserves a wife,'" explains the company.

A Belgian wife rental firm allegedly offers more racy services as well. At least one site will only rent to men, complaining that women clients are "too fussy," although others don't discriminate.

These things I have seen under the sun, have you? Come on, rent a wife now.